Disappearing Act

Hey my readers,

It’s been a while since I last blogged. I wish I could give you all a good reason as to why I disappeared for such a long time, but there really isn’t anything I can say that doesn’t sound like a complete and utter excuse. I’ve had some family stuff going on, not to mention my own personal problems which have currently been kicking my arse. I also started studying again, and when I’m not doing that, I’m often just sleeping.

Now, for those of you who know, I’ve been trying to decide if I should give up on the whole writing thing altogether. I can’t help but feel as though I have unfinished business when it comes to that, and I do: my books. I know they’re not as good as they can be. So, my aim for the rest of this year is to go through them, edit them, and make them even better than before. As I finish editing them, I’ll re-upload them on this site and go from there.

Will I continue writing after that? I don’t know. Am I going to draw loads of pictures? Possibly not. Am I going to at least attempt to post new content every week? Yes, yes I am. I can’t promise anything, what with my new study schedule, but I’ll try.

Indecision

I know it’s been a while since I updated this, and I know the last time I did I promised a lot of things. I haven’t forgotten that. You guys do deserve an explanation though, and one better than “I’ve been busy” or “I’ve been trying to get my head straight.” There’s another reason I’ve been silent.

Here’s the thing. My mind is torn between three options. Now that I’m back at University, my time of updating and writing and drawing and everything else is going to be limited. Assignments will take priority.I’ll be attending classes, I’ll be busy. There’s no way around that; it’s just going to be the way it is.

That’s not what I’m torn with. That’s going to be a constant thing, and it’s always going to be top priority. But it can’t be my whole life; tried that before and it wasn’t good on my health. So I’ll still need some downtime on things. There are three options for me.

Option One: edit my existing stories to make them stronger. I said I wanted to do this a while back, but with everything else going on, I haven’t even started. If I go with this option, I’ll be re-uploading my novels as a new and improved 2.0 version, but it’ll take longer than normal to get them out.

Option Twostart a new story. I had the idea for one a few days ago and it’s pretty cool, nice and strong. But it’ll take a while for me to finish it.

Option Three: come out with a whole new load of schedule posts about various topics. This was also something I said I’d do a while back, but just like with option one, other stuff happened and I never got started.

The thing with this is that because my time will be limited, I can only do a limited amount. So, yeah, I’d love to be able to do all three, but it can’t happen. If I start a new story, editing will be taken off the table, and so will blogging anything other than the run of the mill updates. If I do option three, that’s all I’ll be doing. If I do option one, I’ll probably be able to do a bit of editing and just a few new scheduled posts.

I’m torn between these options.

So, readers, I’m asking what you’d like to see from me in the coming year. Which of the three do you think I should do?

Queenslanders Beware!

I know that I’ve been off the last few weeks. I had a…well, “episode” so I went offline to get my head on straight. As I was doing that, my brain decided to give me a huge migraine, so I didn’t really want to think about posting at all for a little while, because thinking – and the computer screen – hurt my head.

I was going to wait until a better time to resume posting but, as it so often does, current circumstances changed that idea.

I know my American readers won’t know about this, but Queensland – where I live – currently has two cyclones battering it. They’re both pretty severe, one is expected to become a category 5, the other a category 4. Two bad ones going at the exact same time…not a good outlook, is it? My town isn’t supposed to get hit too bad, but other places won’t be so lucky.

The winds, in some places, are expected to be over 200kph, its expected that places will get 300mm of rain, floods…

It’s pretty severe around here right now. I know a lot of people say that “Australia is always trying to kill you” but two cyclones at once…well, it’s not exactly a good situation, is it? This sort of weather is what causes damage and destruction. So, my fellow Queenslanders, this is a reminder post.

A reminder to stay safe. A reminder to think of of what you’re doing when you go out tomorrow in the rain. A reminder that if the creek is swollen, going through it is extremely dangerous. A reminder of the old slogan we’ve all seen on television: “if it’s flooded, forget it.” A reminder that all pets should be safe, and all outside belongings should be secured.

A reminder to stay safe over the next few days, while our state suffers at the hands of the extreme weather patterns.

To my non-Queenslander readers: I’m sure everyone living in the eye of the storms that are bearing down upon us would greatly appreciate your thoughts and prayers. We’ve all experienced bad weather, and we all know that the bad weather can leave behind a trail of damage. The last thing we want is to have to rebuild our state once more; we had to do that after the 2011 floods, and the 2013 tornado/cyclone mix.

We don’t want to have to do that in 2015.

Please be safe, everyone.

Breaking the Habit: Day One

Yesterday, I posted about my plan to break my rather nasty habit of worrying about things constantly. I certainly don’t intend to post about this every single day, but I will update when I feel it necessary. Considering this is the first day and all, I decided that it was necessary.

Now, it’s only been a day, so nothing overly hard has happened just yet, but I can tell you one thing: it is hard not to let the little thing enter your mind and get you all worked up. Thoughts like that will normally happen a few times a day for me. They can be about everything and anything, from friendships, food, fitness, health, technology…quite literally, anything can worry me if I think on it long enough.

It’s easy to say, “I just won’t think about it.” But it’s not really as simple as that. Anyone will be able to tell you that anxiety goes a hell of a lot deeper than that.

It was probably quite easy today, because I kept myself pretty busy. The real challenge will come when I’ve got nothing going on, or when I’m trying to sleep; that’s normally when I’ll get anxious or think too much about certain things.

When those thoughts did come today, I shook my head and told myself to shut the hell up. It worked, but how long for? That’s the real question…

Breaking the Habit

There’s a song I like. It’s called Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park. It’s a pretty good song. I first came across it…well, many years ago. My older brother used to be super into Linkin Park, so I’d often hear him play all the songs from his computer. When he got a new computer, I got his, as well as all his music. Breaking the Habit, along with From the Inside, were among a few I totally loved.

For those who have never heard it before…watch here:

For me, its the following lyrics that get to me:

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for, or why I have to scream

I don’t know why I instigate and say what I don’t mean

I don’t know how I got this way, I’ll never be alright

So I’m breaking the habit, I’m breaking the habit tonight…

Something about those lyrics just get to me. They make me think, and not necessarily in a good way. You see, I don’t know what’s worth fighting for, and every time I listened to the song, I was reminded of that fact, over and over and over. But here’s the thing. It’s different now.

Why? Because I have found something that’s worth fighting for. I’m not going to say what specifically, because that’s going into the realm of way too personal, but I will say is that I want to fight for my life. Listening to that song now, this is what I hear:

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for, or why I have to scream

But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean

I don’t know how I got this way, I’ll never be alright,

So I’m breaking the habit, I’m breaking the habit, I’m breaking the habit…tonight

Now I have some clarity. Yes, that’s exactly what I have. I should have seen it long before now, but hey, I’m only human and I make mistakes. I’ve made many mistakes and I’m stuck in many, many negative thought patterns, but I’m going to fight them. I’m going to break the habit.

I did some reading. It apparently takes 21 days to break a habit, according to some psychologist from some online news article I read. So, if I start tomorrow I should, realistically, break the habit of being anxious and worrying about every little thing by the 27th Feb.

But here’s the kicker: how does one stop worrying? From what I’ve read, it takes a combination of things, like diet, exercise, meditation…certain activities. I’ll do all three of them. In the next 21 days, I will not worry about a single thing. If something comes into my mind, I’ll do the following:

  • Journal about it
  • Exercise until I drop
  • Draw (or any form of art, really)
  • Practice mindfulness
  • Have a nice, soothing cup of tea (apparently, that helps).

Now, I plan to blog about this…but while it may take 21 days to break a habit, I’m pretty sure it takes way longer to train your mind not to fall back into that habit. So I’ll extend this little project to 63 days. What will I get at the end of it? Well, I’ve devised a little reward system for myself, as incentive.

At 21 days, I will buy myself a 30 Seconds to Mars (despite loving many Linkin Park songs, Mars is my all time favourite band) wristband or pendant

At 42 days, I will do what I’ve wanted to do for a long, long time and buy my own domain name for this site (cool, right?)

And at 63 days, I will get a new tattoo as a permanent reminder of what I am doing, how far I have come, and how far I will continue to go.

I’ll post about my journey with this, the hardships, the fun times, how I’m feeling. I don’t expect it to be easy, but nothing in life ever is, is it? It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be hard, a challenge, and it’s one I’m finally willing to fight.

Time to break the habit of going into a complete panic state over the little things, and time to change my life – for the better.

Promoting Yourself

I was talking to someone the other day, and they told me that, if I wanted to be successful at anything, I needed to promote myself and get people liking me on Facebook. This person somehow managed to have over 10,000 likes on their own page. How they managed to have so many, I honestly have no idea.

But either way, they have a point. One way of making myself more known – not that I really want popularity or anything, but still, it would be nice to have a handful of people buying my books instead of…well, no people. I don’t care so much about money and such, but it would be somewhat…gratifying to know that some people have read my work.

After all, I write to make other people – and myself – happy. Telling stories is important, as is reading them.

Anyway, getting back to the purpose of this post. I considered allowing my personal account to have “followers” but…the problem with that is I have friends and family on my account. I don’t really care about people knowing a lot about my life – its not really all too exciting and I doubt I’ll be getting 10,000 followers…although, that would be totally awesome! – but there’s no way I want to put my best friends at risk, nor do I want to put my family at risk.

So, I created a page. A page where I can continue to be anonymous, but people still get to follow me and listen to my random ramblings from day to day. The name of this page is The Preoccupied Writer. So, why not check it out? It’s very, very quiet at the moment, but as time goes on, that’ll change.

So, how about you go over there, give me a like, read my random things from day to day…see the random photos and links I come across and find funny…

Enjoy it!

Changes

Greetings, WordPress readers!

As you can see, I’ve made more changes to this blog. I was going to do this yesterday, but unfortunately, my computer mouse decided to just stop working. I changed the batteries but that didn’t work; it’s well and truly dead. It took me a while to find another one to replace it, but I managed to rustle up an old one back from my Windows XP days. It’s old, its annoying, I hate it, but it works. It’ll do until I can get to a shop to buy a nice shiny new one.

Anyway, back to the changes. The layout and theme of my blog has changed, as has the pages that you can access. It’s a lot more simple now, and I think it’s better for a personal blog type of thing, as opposed to a blog, website and promo thing for my books all in one.

Now, there are a few more changes to come. You won’t be able to see it right away, but I’ve added categories to my posts. These categories will show the subjects and type of posts that will be coming. And by that, I mean the type of posts that I’ll be doing on a regular basis.

That’s right, a posting schedule is in the works!

My plan is to do one “special” post per week. I’d do more, but when I go back to uni, that’s probably all I’ll have time for. However, I will be doing regular updates from time to time, at any stage during the week.

More and more changes…it feels good, doesn’t it?